New Year's Resolutions?

The New Year is upon us, and the "New Year, New You" marketing is hitting us in full-force as advertisers try to convince us that we are not perfect just the way we are. We make resolutions knowing full well we will have broken them before the end of January, yet hope springs eternal every year. Several years ago, I decided to try something new: Rather than make pie in the sky promises to myself (mmmm...pie!), I would choose a few year-long goals to slowly accomplish. Each year, these goals include:

• A goal for personal growth
• A goal for fun
• A goal for professional improvement

I find that categorizing my resolutions/goals makes them easier to attain; it is, after all the start of a plan - a plan to make a plan, if you will. Which is ironic, because I am not a planner. I have tried over the years to be a planner; every January I actually buy a planner to plan my days, weeks, month, and eventually my year...O! To be able to look back and see all that I have accomplished over the course of 12 months! Sigh...if only that planner did not sit on my nightstand untouched after the second week of January. Not to digress to far from the topic, but I am jealous of people who can actually use a planner. I see my cousins whip out their planners and schedule stuff - in INK! Now that's commitment! Meanwhile, here I sit with a bullet journal written in code that nobody but I can understand so that nobody but I can see whether or not what I resolved to complete was actually completed.

Every year, I say THIS is my year to be different, and every year my org system becomes more and more of a secret code that requires the Rosetta stone to crack. It's not that I am a control freak; it's that I am a perfection freak. My façade of perfection is the end-result of the "sausage making" that is my life - trust me when I say that you do not want to know what goes into it! (But then again, perhaps you do; you are sitting here reading this blog).

I suppose the good news is that, in spite of my inability to use a traditional planner or perhaps because of it, I am generally able to accomplish my goals. For 2018, I resolved to get back to my pre-illness state of health (thus the #FitBitChallenge) and to try a new plant-based-diet food every month (as of this writing I have until tomorrow to try the golden beets that have been sitting on my counter for the last two weeks); learn to snowshoe (fun!); and read a book on living out loud that I have been meaning to read since it was released in 2016 (I finally did, after fate reminded me to do so back in October). As you can see, my resolutions are not anything so grand that they are impossible to accomplish - much like my "Bucket List", they are composed of the everyday things we mean to do but never get around to accomplishing, thus leaving us to die a little each day as we live a discontented life.

For 2019, I had no problem deciding on two of my three resolved goals:

For personal growth, I want to learn cake decorating.

I have reached an age where far too many of my friends' parents are dying, and taking their talents with them. I have spent the year mourning with friends, and reminiscing about their parents - all a part of the village that it took to raise me - and of the things they taught us. My Mom, who is still with me and who I am insisting must live to at least 110, is famous for her cake decorating and bow making skills (she could do both professionally, if I do say so myself!). While my bow making skills shall never rival hers, with patience I can do a more than acceptable job of creating big, poofy bows; on the other hand, my cake decorating skills are abysmal.

While baking is no more than a form of General Chemistry, decorating a cake with frosting (not fondant!) is an art, and a dying one at that. Somewhere along the line, I developed a reputation as an ace baker - perhaps it was because I sought to keep my Grandma's memory alive by recreating her recipes, perhaps it is my skills in the General Chemistry lab (baking is just like chem lab, except that you get to lick the spoon when you are finished!). Whatever, the reason, I discovered that I actually enjoy the time I spend in my kitchen and I want to learn my mother's ways. FYI: Being diabetic, I am going to need volunteers to eat my homework!

Next on the list: My resolution to commit to "something fun". This matter will be fulfilled by taking guitar lessons.

Back in my twenties, I was friends with a professional guitar player. He taught me to pick a few chords, but my being severely left-handed made it very difficult for him to teach me anything more. While his love for Jimi Hendrix was immense, it had its limits, and stopped short of restringing his guitar to be played left-handedly. I thought the dream had died, but...

I recently discovered that my secret love of folk music (Peter, Paul, and Mary; Simon and Garfunkel) and schmaltzy '70's soft-rock (John Denver, Dan Fogelberg) was never actually a secret - my metal-head friends just let me think that it was (they said it was because they love me, but I say it was because it meant they would never have to listen to any of it. I'll let you decide). Since I can already sing "Annie's Song", "The Wedding Song (There Is Love)", and other embarrassingly sappy standards, I am committing to learning how to accompany myself of the guitar! I'm committed, and there is nothing you can do about it (except maybe buy earplugs).

Last on the list: Professional Improvement.

My commitment to "professional improvement" was a bit more difficult to pin down; I usually take classes at the community college, but I do not feel inspired to do so at the moment. With my go-to solution off the table, I had to think long and hard about this one and after much deep-seated reflection, I have decided that my resolution in this category will be..."wear professional looking makeup a lot more often".

I have almost always loved wearing makeup - as a little girl, I used it to play dress-up; as a teenager, my nickname was "Tammy Faye" due to my love of wearing far too much brightly colored eye-shadow (all I can say in my defense is that it was the 1980's and I was a Cyndi Lauper fan!). Unfortunately, I have always had difficulty recreating the minimalist yet sophisticated look the makeup artists at the cosmetics counters manage to construct upon my face. While I currently own over 30 shades of lipstick, I almost never wear makeup anymore. This makes me sad; it's one of those things that makes me die a little inside and as shallow as that may sound, I can't help the way I feel. I love wearing makeup.

Very early in my career, a supervisor (who did not wear makeup herself) told me that, like it or not, women are judged by their appearance and to always make sure that mine was impeccable, including my makeup. I invested heavily in a timeless wardrobe that I cycle through every few seasons, updating accessories and adding new dresses and donating the old when I tire of the look. As for my makeup? I felt like I never could get it right; I'd look in the mirror and where others saw glamorous I saw a five year old who got into Mommy's vanity. This past year, I was given a wonderful piece of advice:

"Strong eye or strong lip, but never both".

With those eight words, makeup and my inability to master its application suddenly made sense. I have strong facial features, particularly my eyes, which change color and intensity with whatever I am wearing. My hair is naturally curly and "fluffy", for lack of a better word, which is why I usually have it pulled back on a day-to-day basis lest I punch a hole in the ozone layer with the amount of aerosol hairspray required to hold it in place. My lips are moderately full - somewhere between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie - and a jawline so pronounced it could scare Jay Leno. These past few months, I have learned to focus on one aspect of my appearance at a time:

• If my hair is loose, sprayed, and teased, barely-there shades of nude makeup are a must
• If my hair is pulled back in a severe ponytail (I don't do buns), a bright lipstick is allowed with light mascara and nude eyeliner/eye-shadow
• If my hair is loosely pulled back, a strong-eye will work, but a completely matte, light colored lipstick is required in order to keep from looking like a member of an '80's hair band
• A foundation is always necessary (I have uneven skin tones)

It all sounds so simple, doesn't it? We will see! Feel free to follow me this year as I hashtag #caketastrophe #guitargoals and #tammyfaemakeover; I have a feeling that things are going to get very interesting!


KJM
12.30.2018